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Trey’s #getONNIT blog – Week 1

Trey’s #getONNIT blog – Week 1

(WARNING: BLOG INCLUDES SOME OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE)

Late in 2017, the staff with the Horn and KOKE were asked about interest in participating in a ‘new year new you’ fitness challenge with a local gym that would be chronicled on the stations’ airwaves and website. I take pride in my health and wellbeing, so I agreed to the possibility of a free fitness membership and instruction from a professional trainer.

A few weeks later, we learned that we would be working with Onnit Gym. I was ecstatic. For those unfamiliar with Onnit, it’s like being told…damnit…now I’ve committed myself to a simile. But nothing appropriate comes to mind. They’re either too lame (…like being told you get to play kickball and then finding out you’re playing at Wrigley Field!) or too crass (…like being told you get to kick the shit out of a bad person and then learning that you get to kick the shit out of the Larry Nassar). But you get my point. You’re told you get to do something. And then you find out it’s the very best version of that something.

(Side note: I don’t know if cursing is allowed in this blog. But I feel like Onnit will be OK with some profanity, as long as I’m cursing in positive terms regarding Onnit. Or in a neutral way, like writing about kicking the shit out of a convicted pedophile, who exploited the innocence of more than 100 young girls over decades. Seriously, fuck that guy.)

Onnit is known nationally and around the world as a place where the best pro athletes (like Bode Miller, Earl Thomas, Jonathan Toews, and Jake Arrieta, just to name a few) go to train toward peak performance. From their supplementation science, to their cutting-edge training methods, to the unpretentious gym environment they create by treating EVERY person who’s working out like they’re Bode Miller or Earl Thomas, Onnit is at the forefront of this crowded fitness game. And they’re Austin-based, to boot. What’s not to love?

Last week, we went through our measurements and physical fitness tests, followed by assessments with Chief Fitness Officer John Wolf. The assessment included short- and long-term goals, dietary suggestions, and what we should expect over the next 13 weeks. For me, I wanted to look better and play sand volleyball at a higher level. Yes, drink up. I mentioned sand volleyball. Eventually, I agreed on a workout routine that included two training sessions per week at Onnit.

My first day at the Onnit Gym was this Tuesday. Aharon is my trainer (as well as the trainer for my three radio colleagues who are also participating). I think Aharon is Australian. Do Australians and English people find it offensive when you confuse one with the other? Surely not. Then again, if an Aussie confused me with a Canadian, I’d beat him into an Englishman. That’s…not true. If Aharon confused me for a Canadian and I tried to fight him, he would destroy me. He’s a professional trainer at Onnit Gym for fuck’s sake. And I’m me. But after two training sessions, I’m confident Onnit is going to help me achieve the best physical fitness of my life, at the age of 40. Then, if given the chance, I’ll be in prime condition to kick the shit out of Larry Nassar.

Trey Elling

January 18th, 2018

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